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Posts tagged MPs’ expenses
Letters: Fear and loathing in New Labour
Mar 13th
In light of the articles by Simon Jenkins (The bankers lied. And Darling, merely a puppet on their string, knows it, 12 March) and Mehdi Hasan (It’s defeatist nonsense to talk of a crisis of leftwing thinking, 12 March), it seems evident that there is the need for a rearticulating of the political discourse. The hegemony of neoliberal thinking has defined the political space for 30 years, so much so that even in the present crisis, when we all should be marching on the streets against the bankers, New Labour is still running in fear of framing the debate in social democratic terms.
For the 30 years the right have had a stranglehold on how we define freedom. The political classes have been fearful of any reference to the state as a means of solving problems. Individual freedom, essentially defined in terms of freedom from the state, has been their mantra. For example, George Osborne’s first reaction to the nationalisation of the banks was to jump enthusiastically up and down, claiming that old socialist nationalisation is here again. Cameron is careful that his slogan that there is such a thing as society is followed up by a clear rejection of any idea that this means a bigger state.
The current crisis has left both parties searching for ways to rearticulate a progressive politics, but it is up to the left to grab this opportunity, because they won’t have another like this, to reshape the political discourse and redefine the state and its relation to individual freedom. This is a hegemonic struggle to reclaim the terms of liberty and equality in social democratic terms.
Robert Proni
London
• Donald Hirsch is quite right to say that decent employers should pay a living wage of at least £7.14 an hour, and more in expensive areas (The wages of dignity, 10 March). However, we also need to realise that the legal minimum wage of £5.80 an hour is not being paid to many thousands of employees. The root of the problem is that the statutory enforcement powers are held by Revenue & Customs, and they are failing to do their job properly. That is hardly surprising as there are only 123 enforcement staff for the whole of the UK.
In Hackney, where I live, only 258 investigations have been carried out in seven years. Anecdotal evidence of illegal avoidance abounds, but the onus is on the individual to complain, and few feel able to do so. Ideally the enforcement powers should be transferred to local authorities, but in the meantime high-profile awareness campaigns could be organised by councils with advice and information points located in their buildings. This policy will be part of the Hackney Labour manifesto for the forthcoming local elections.
Tim Webb
London
• Neil Kinnock (Letters, 10 March) utterly fails to comprehend the burning sense of disillusionment that has driven so many former Labour supporters either into cynical abandonment of politics or, like John Kampfner, to embrace the Lib Dems. The charge against the New Labour project is not that it did not deliver the benefits he lists. It did, and there were others which curiously he omits, above all the lancing of the Northern Ireland carbuncle and significant constitutional reforms – devolution and human rights legislation. The charge is that it squandered its massive parliamentary majorities and the goodwill that the electorate bestowed on it to transform a divided, sick society.
On the contrary, it took to its bosom the neoliberal ideology that nourished that divide, extending privatisation; it renounced and even demonised public sector initiatives and went back on the welfare state concordat that was the hallmark of the postwar Labour settlement. So, Labour administrations have presided over the widest gulf ever between the haves and have-nots and now the inevitable massive recession. We have witnessed a generation of politicians intent on feathering their own nests, the expenses “scandal” being a minor part of this. Not to speak, as Neil Kinnock dare not, of the criminal adventure that was the Iraq war. I, a onetime Labour activist, like John Kampfner, have joined the Lib Dems, who I see as a catalyst for, and working partner of, a rejuvenated Labour party once it is purged of the New Labour virus.
Benedict Birnberg
London
Labour peer Lady Uddin will not face prosecution over expenses
Mar 12th
Labour peer was investigated over claims that she was paid expenses on a flat in Kent that had been unoccupied for years
Lady Uddin, the Labour peer accused of claiming more than £100,000 in expenses for a flat she did not live in, will not face any criminal charges, the Crown Prosecution Service confirmed today.
The Labour peer was investigated over claims that she was paid expenses on a flat in Kent that had been unoccupied for years. Uddin has a second home in the East End of London, just four miles away from parliament.
The inquiry has been suspended with no charges made because there was “insufficient evidence” to bring a prosecution alleging that Uddin did not occupy the home in Kent.
Keir Starmer, the director of public prosecutions, said: “The allegation against Baroness Uddin was that she had claimed ‘night subsistence’ for overnight stays in London, after attendances in the House of Lords, to which she was not entitled. Although she had nominated a flat she owned in Maidstone, Kent, as her ‘only or main residence’, it was alleged that her ‘only or main residence’ was in fact a house in east London.
“Evidence in this case was obtained from neighbours of Baroness Uddin and from companies supplying utility services, such as water, gas and electricity to the flat in Maidstone. But after careful scrutiny of all of the available evidence we have decided that, in applying the definition of ‘only or main residence’ adopted by the House Committee, there is insufficient evidence to bring criminal charges against Baroness Uddin and we have today advised the Metropolitan police to take no further action.”
The decision not to prosecute relied heavily on a ruling by the Lords clerk to allow peers to nominate their first and second homes, and that the definition of a primary home was one which the member visited at least once a month. On the evidence prosecutors had, they could not prove she had spent less time there.
MPs and peer charged with expenses offences deserve fair trial | Michael White
Mar 12th
When I was a regular court reporter in Queen Victoria’s day we took contempt of court seriously. Some papers today ought to refresh their memories
A wholesome public figure whom we all know said in my hearing this week “there’s a crisis of public life”. By that he meant that the politics of relentless scrutiny, which prefers to play the man, not the ball, is driving good people out of responsible positions.
That’s fine if you want “monks or millionaires” running the country, he said. I didn’t give it further thought until I opened this morning’s papers and saw three MPs and a Tory peer all over some front pages.
They were all appearing at Westminster magistrates court on expenses-related charges. Guilty? I don’t know and nor do you, though we both probably have views. That’s my point.
The Daily Mail’s splash headline is “‘Thieves’ who think they’re above the law”. Note those delicate quotation marks around “thieves”. It’s a perfunctory nod to the law, which requires court reports to reflect the proper presumption of innocence, even for rapists, child molesters and politicians.
When I was a regular court reporter, under Queen Victoria, we took it seriously. Woe betide papers that didn’t.
But in 2010 the Mail’s strap line gives the game away. “With brazen cynicism, three Labour MPs [where's that Tory peer gone, I ask myself?] charged with expenses fraud argue a court has no right to put them on trial.”
Actually it’s not quite brazen cynicism. But it’s certainly prejudicial to say so in a court report. On radio, TV and in print there was plenty more. Some papers, including this one, sent their sketchwriters.
Thus my old friend, Simon Hoggart, has written an uncharacteristically testy piece that takes a passing swipe at costly and overdue renovation work at the Palace of Westminster.
You would never know from the article that the authorities have just spent millions renovating the Commons press gallery where we all work rent-free. The office under Big Ben where Simon and I have worked for years in Stygian darkness now has a window, two actually. Daylight at last! Few reporters wanted the upgrade; we were happy in our squalor. Few MPs wanted to upgrade us. Officialdom and our old mate ‘ealth and safety drove the project.
Back to the magistrates court. Surely, we have spent a lot of the past week debating the need to ensure that Jon Venables gets a fair trial for whatever offence he’s allegedly committed under whatever name he lives under? The mob is in full cry over him too and his rights deserve defending.
But they have been abused, roundly so by great swathes of reporting – as Simon Jenkins also pointed out this week. It happens all the time. Will anything be done about it? I doubt it, and there’s an election coming.
The politicians are afraid of the press, which can do truly scary things to them. I don’t need to remind Guardian regulars about the News of the World phone-hacking, far more extensive than admitted, as becomes clearer by the week.
When Nick Davies and Rob Evans reported that the NoW had paid out another £1m to buy off Max Clifford’s phone-hacking law suit – not a man to cross is Max – how many other papers picked up the report? None that I saw.
It didn’t suit them, as it would have if an MP had been – allegedly – drunk at the wheel and they’d been tipped off for money by a copper.
Why not? Plenty blag for information too, so the information commissioner concluded. You won’t have read much about that either. Professor Brian Cathcart explained it well in MediaGuardian the other day.
And while we’re on the subject, there’s another little report in today’s Guardian which you might usefully read. Facebook is threatening to sue the Mail for tweaking a scary piece written by Mark Williams-Thomas, an ex-police detective specialising in paedophile cases.
He’d (allegedly) told the paper that the social network on which he’d posed as a teenage girl – and been inundated with dirty propositions – was not Facebook, but they said it was anyway. It fitted the story they were writing about poor Ashleigh Hall.
That happens a lot too; take my word for it. Make the facts fit the story. But it needn’t happen. In many years at the Guardian I can only recall one instance of a “fact” (which later proved untrue) being inserted late at night against the advice of the reporter whose name was on the story. There was a big fuss afterwards.
So let’s go easy on unconvicted MPs once they’ve been charged, on Venables too. Due process matters. And don’t tell me that applies to Tony Blair’s deficient handling of the Iraq war, as demonstrated (again) by the Chilcot inquiry. I agree.
But before you get too smug read this. It’s a rare take on the Iraq war by a rare kind of witness. Nigel Biggar is regius professor of moral and pastoral theology at Oxford and he marshals a powerful case against the “Bliar Blair’s illegal and murderous war” brigade.
Whether or not Biggar knows what he’s doing raising his head above the parapet is another matter. Doesn’t he know what happens to people in public life who cross the prejudices of the Daily Beast?
If readers in the quiet streets of north Oxford hear unusual noises just before dawn it may be a freelance trawling through the Biggar family bins on behalf of the Beast. And change your mobile phone number, Prof.
Good luck.
Labour couple ordered to repay £1,500
Mar 12th
Alan and Ann Keen claimed money from second home allowance to which they were not entitled
The Labour MPs Alan and Ann Keen, below, were yesterday ordered to repay £1,500 after breaking the rules over second home allowances.The Commons standards and privileges committee said the couple had claimed money from the second home allowance to which they were not entitled because their main home was empty and uninhabitable.
But the committee said that they should not have to repay all the money they were deemed to have wrongly claimed because the Commons authorities told them twice their arrangements were acceptable.
In a report, the committee also said the pair had been the victims of “malign and sometimes false” reporting in the media.
The Keens started renovating their Brentford home in May 2008. They then lived mainly in their central London flat, which was funded by the second home allowance. In December 2008 they had their Brentford home boarded up. They did not stay overnight again until October 2009 and in the summer of 2009, after press coverage of their case, squatters moved in.
John Lyon, the parliamentary commissioner for standards, launched an inquiry into a complaint that they continued to claim the second home allowance when their central London property had in effect become their main home.
Lyon said that, even though the Commons authorities approved the claims, the Keens were ultimately responsible for what they did and that they had committed “a serious misjudgment”.
The committee said they should have stopped claiming the second home allowance between June and October 2009 and received £5,678 too much. But they only have to repay £1,500 due to “exceptional factors” . Responding to the report, the Keens said: “We accept in full the verdict of the committee, and are grateful that the members acknowledge the strong mitigating circumstances in our case.”
MPs on expenses charges cite parliamentary privilege
Mar 11th
Labour MPs and Tory peer plead not guilty and say workings of parliament should be dealt with by parliament
Three Labour MPs and a Conservative peer charged with theft over their expenses claims are to fight to keep their cases out of the criminal courts by attempting to invoke a 320-year-old law protecting them under parliamentary privilege.
Elliot Morley, David Chaytor, Jim Devine and Lord Hanningfield appeared today at City of Westminster magistrates court to plead not guilty to charges of false accounting under the Theft Act 1968.
The cases were committed to Southwark crown court after lawyers argued they raised issues of “high constitutional importance”. If convicted, the four face a maximum sentence of seven years’ imprisonment.
Julian Knowles, representing the three MPs, stressed the men were not saying they were above the law. “That would be quite wrong.” But, he added, “parliamentary privilege is part of the law, and it is for parliament to apply the law in their cases”.
The three MPs stood together in the functional reinforced glass dock of Court One at the Horseferry Road court, a short walk from the Palace of Westminster, during their 15-minute appearance.
A request they be allowed to remain outside the dock was refused by district judge Timothy Workman. Lord Hanningfield, who gave his name as “Paul Edward Winston Lord Hanningfield, previously White”, appeared alone immediately after them.
Knowles said the three MPs “unequivocally and steadfastly maintain their innocence of the charges against them”. Referring to the 1689 Bill of Rights, originally designed to protect freedom of speech, he said the MPs maintained “that to prosecute them in the criminal courts for their parliamentary activities would infringe the principle of the separation of powers, which is one of the principles which underpins the UK’s constitutional structure.
“The principle of the separation of powers means that whatever matter arises concerning the working of parliament should be dealt with by parliament, and not elsewhere, and should be dealt with in a manner that is consistent with the way other members have been treated.”
He added that parliamentary privilege meant that “proceedings in parliament cannot be impeached or questioned in any court or place outside of parliament”.
“These principles mean that it is for the House of Commons alone to decide whether the conduct of Mr Morley, Mr Chaytor and Mr Devine has been such as to call for sanction.”
Morley, 57, former agriculture minister and MP for Scunthorpe, is alleged to have dishonestly claimed £30,428 more than he was entitled to in second-home expenses between 2004 and 2007 on a house in Winterton, near Scunthorpe, towards a mortgage that was paid off.
Chaytor, 60, MP for Bury North, faces charges that he claimed almost £13,000 in rent in 2005 and 2006 on a London flat which he owned, as well as £5,425 in 2007 and 2008 to rent a property in Lancashire owned by his mother. He is also alleged to have used false invoices to claim £1,950 for IT services in 2006.
Devine, 56, MP for Livingston, is alleged to have claimed £3,240 for cleaning services and £5,505 for stationery using false invoices in 2008 and 2009.
All three have been barred as standing as Labour candidates in the forthcoming general election.
Hanningfield, 69, who was suspended from the parliamentary Conservative party and stood down as leader of Essex county council, pleaded not guilty to six charges relating to claims for overnight allowances, ranging from £154 to £172, from the House of Lords between 2006 and 2009 when records allegedly show he was driven to his home near Chelmsford.
The judge agreed with the defendants’ application for the cases to be heard at crown court. All were released on unconditional bail to appear at Southwark crown court on 30 March.
New details published of expenses charges faced by Labour MPs and Tory peer
Mar 11th
David Chaytor, Jim Devine, Elliot Morley and Lord Haningfield to face court today
New details of the charges faced by three Labour MPs and a Tory peer were revealed in documents published ahead of their court appearance today.
David Chaytor, the MP for Bury North, is accused of providing false information on an allowances form under the Theft Act 1968.
The charge states he falsely claimed rents between September 2005 and August 2006 for 152 Hide Tower, Regency Street, London, from Sarah Elizabeth.
It added that he claimed £12,925 by lodging a claim for £1,175 a month in rent when he was in fact the owner of the premises.
A second charge stated that on or about 19 May 2006, he dishonestly filed two invoices for computer IT services worth £975.
The court document added that they purported to show the services had been provided in February and March 2006 by Paul France.
A third charge stated that between November 2005 and September 2006 he dishonestly made use of a short-hold tenancy agreement in a claim form.
This showed that between August 2007 and January 2008 he rented Delph Cottage, Castle Street, Summerseat, Bury, from Olive Trickett for £775 a month plus a month deposit.
The charge added that Trickett was his mother and it was not permissible to lease accommodation from a family member. The total sum claimed was £5,425.
Jim Devine, the MP for Livingston, is accused of falsely claiming costs for parliamentary duties in March 2009.
The charge sheet alleged he submitted two misleading invoices worth a total of £5,505 for services provided by Armstrong Printing Ltd.
A second charge alleged that between July 2008 and May 2009 he dishonestly claimed allowances for repair, insurance or security.
The document alleges he intended to gain by submitting false invoices for services, cleaning and maintenance worth £3,240.
The services were allegedly provided between April 2009 and March 2010 by Tom O’Donnell Hygiene and Cleaning Services.
Elliot Morley, the MP for Scunthorpe, is accused of falsely claiming a furnishing allowance between March 2006 and November 2007.
The charge sheet alleged he submitted a deceptive mortgage application.
This showed £800 mortgage monthly interest was charged by the Cheltenham and Gloucester when in fact the mortgage was paid off. A total overpayment of £16,000 was made.
A second charge alleged that between April 2004 and February 2006 Morley made a further false mortgage interest claim.
Again he is accused of claiming £800 a month, a total overpayment of £14,428.67.
Lord Hanningfield, also known as Paul White, faced six charges.
The offences are alleged to have taken place in March 2006, May 2007, April 2008, July 2008, May 2009 and April 2009.
One charge stated that on or about 1 April 2009, at Westminster, he made a dishonest claim for travelling allowances.
It stated that Hanningfield “purported to show that you were entitled to be paid expenses when the conditions entitled you to payment of such expenses had not been fulfilled”.
Labour MPs Alan and Ann Keen ordered to repay £1,500 in expenses
Mar 11th
Watchdog says couple claimed money from the second home allowance to which they were not entitled because their central London property had in effect become their main home
The Labour MPs Alan and Ann Keen were today ordered to repay £1,500 after an investigation found that they had broken Commons rules in relation to second home expenses.
The Commons standards and privileges committee said that the couple had claimed money from the second home allowance to which they were not entitled because their main home was empty and uninhabitable.
But the committee said that they should not have to repay all the money they were deemed to have claimed wrongly because the Commons authorities told them twice their arrangements were acceptable.
In a report, the committee also said the pair had been the victims of “malign and sometimes false” reporting in the media.
Alan Keen, MP for Feltham and Heston, and his wife Ann, a health minister and MP for Brentford and Isleworth, own a house in Brentford. In 2002 they bought a flat near parliament, which they used when the Commons was sitting and which they funded using the second home allowance.
In May 2008 the Keens began to renovate their Brentford home. They began to spend most of their time living in their central London flat and in December 2008 they had their Brentford home boarded up. They did not stay there overnight again until October 2009 and in the summer of 2009, after their case was publicised in the press, the house was occupied by squatters.
John Lyon, the parliamentary commissioner for standards, launched an inquiry into a complaint that they continued to claim the second home allowance when their central London property had in effect become their main home.
Lyon said that, even though the Commons authorities approved the claims, the Keens were ultimately responsible for what they did and that they had committed “a serious misjudgment”.
But the committee, which considered Lyon’s report, said that it was taking “a more lenient view”. It said the fact that the Keens’ claims were approved by the Commons department of resources was “a very significant mitigating factor”.
The committee said that the Keens should have stopped claiming the second home allowance between June and October 2009 and that they had therefore received £5,678 to which they were not entitled. But it also said they should only have to repay £1,500 because of the “exceptional factors” in the case.
MPs and peer due in court over expenses
Mar 11th
Labour MPs David Chaytor, Jim Devine and Elliot Morley, along with Tory peer Lord Hanningfield deny theft by false accounting
Three Labour MPs and a Conservative peer are due to appear in court today accused of theft by false accounting.
MPs Elliot Morley of Scunthorpe, David Chaytor of Bury North and Livingston’s Jim Devine will appear at City of Westminster magistrates court.
They will be joined by Lord Hanningfield, who faces charges relating to his claims for House of Lords allowances.
Their prosecution, at a court a short distance from parliament, is the first to result from the Westminster expenses scandal.
All four have denied any wrongdoing, but if found guilty could face up to seven years in jail.
Morley is alleged to have dishonestly claimed £30,428 more than he was entitled to in second-home expenses on a house in Winterton, near Scunthorpe, between 2004 and 2007, including 18 months after the mortgage on the property was paid off.
Chaytor faces charges that he claimed almost £13,000 in rent in 2005 and 2006 on a London flat he owned, as well as £5,425 in 2007 and 2008 to rent a property in Lancashire owned by his mother. He is also alleged to have used false invoices to claim £1,950 for IT services in 2006.
Devine is alleged to have claimed £3,240 for cleaning services and £5,505 for stationery using false invoices in 2008 and 2009.
Hanningfield faces six charges of false accounting in relation to claims for overnight allowances from the House of Lords between 2006 and 2009, when records allegedly show he was driven to his home near Chelmsford.
The three MPs were barred from standing as Labour candidates at the forthcoming general election.
Hanningfield was suspended from the parliamentary Conservative party and stood down as leader of Essex county council.
In a joint statement last month, the MPs said: “We totally refute any charges that we have committed an offence and we will defend our position robustly.”
Hanningfield said he was “extremely disappointed” to be charged and insisted all his expenses claims were made in good faith.
The charges were announced by the director of public prosecutions, Keir Starmer, after a nine-month investigation triggered by the leak of expenses details to the Daily Telegraph.
Harry Cohen under investigation over MPs’ expenses
Mar 11th
Investigations will focus on how the MP, who is standing down at the general election, wrongly claimed the second-home allowance for four years
Police have launched an investigation into the expenses claims of the Labour MP Harry Cohen who received more than £70,000 in a second home allowance for a house he rarely visited, it was reported last night.
Cohen, who was severely criticised last month for a “particularly serious breach of the rules” by a Commons committee, is the fifth Labour MP to be subject to a Scotland Yard inquiry.
Officers will focus their investigations on how the MP, who is standing down at the general election, wrongly claimed the second-home allowance for four years.
Cohen received money for a second home when he was renting out the property designated as his main home, the standards and privileges committee said last month.
Over the past few weeks, the Metropolitan police are understood to have approached Commons authorities seeking documents relating to claims made by Cohen, the Daily Telegraph reported.
Today, three MPs, Elliot Morley, David Chaytor and Jim Devine, are due to appear before the courts after being charged last month with multiple offences under the Theft Act.
Another MP, Eric Illsley, is also being investigated over claims he allegedly made “phantom” claims for council tax.
The Commons committee last month called for the Leyton and Wanstead MP to become the first MP to lose a £65,000 retirement payoff to claw back the wrongly claimed money.
Attention has focussed on a Colchester home bought by Cohen in 1998 which he told the Commons authorities was his main residence. He used his second-home allowance to fund a home in his north-east London constituency, which was in accordance with the rules.
In 2003 Cohen’s wife fell ill and the couple began to spend more time in the constituency home so that Cohen could look after her while still carrying out his parliamentary duties.
As the Cohens were not using their Colchester house, they began to rent it out. From early 2004 until August 2008 they periodically let the house on six-month leases.
But Cohen continued to tell the Commons authorities that the Colchester house was his main home, thus enabling him to use the second home allowance to claim for the home in the constituency.
The parliamentary commissioner for standards, John Lyon, found that Cohen was in breach of the rule saying that an MP’s main home should normally be the one where he or she spends the most nights.
As an outer-London MP, Cohen could have claimed the London supplement, instead of the second-home allowance, if he had designated his constituency home as his main home.
But the committee said Cohen claimed more than £70,000 between April 2004 and August 2008. If he had claimed the London supplement instead, he would only have been able to claim about £9,000.
MPs in the dock: from kings of the castle to a glass cage
Mar 11th
Posted by Simon Hoggart in Politics
No comments
The treatment in court of the three MPs charged with fiddling their expenses claims was not what they are used to
For the three MPs charged with fiddling their expenses claims, it may have been the unkindest moment. Their brief, Julian Knowles, wearing one of those vast chalk-stripe suits that possibly only lawyers may, by law, ever wear, asked the chief magistrate if the trio might be excused sitting in the dock.
The chief magistrate, district judge Timothy Workman, said in the mildest and gentlest fashion that it was usual for defendants to sit exactly there. So the MPs, who had plonked themselves on comfy chairs towards the back, had to file into a glass cage in the corner of the court. It looked slightly like the bulletproof conservatory the Israelis built for Adolf Eichmann. A tiny woman, a court attendant, locked them in, possibly in case they tried to flee in time for a crucial Commons vote.
This is not the kind of treatment MPs, who are kings of the castle in parliament, are used to.
Outside Westminster magistrates court a vast crowd of photographers had gathered, and a somewhat smaller crowd of protesters. What they lacked in numbers they made up in spray-gunned anger: placards denounced “Bakers, politicians, rozzers, grasping, corrupt, filthy pigs the lot …” Some wore pig masks, others were dressed as Guy Fawkes.
Back in the Commons there was another mini-scandal on the way. It was They Just Don’t Get It, episode CXXII. Having just spend £400,000 on refurbishing one of the bars, they plan to spend another £400,000 on turning it into a day nursery for the infant children of MPs and staff. This total sum, which would buy a family home in one of London’s nicer areas, has not been vetted by the relevant committee – because, we are told, there isn’t time. Tories suspect it’s not been checked because it would be turned down.
Back at the beak’s, the clerk, a young blonde woman, read out the charges. It took around 10 minutes. The MPs stood up in their glazed cage – Jim Devine looking truculent, David Chaytor anxious, Elliott Morley brick-red and cross.
Knowles explained how his clients were going to claim the charges were none of the court’s business – thanks to article 9 in the Bill of Rights, 1689, what happens in parliament stays in parliament. Workman, mild as ever, said he declined jurisdiction and packed them off for trial at the end of the month.
Outside the court there was chaos. “Oink, oink, oink” yelled the people dressed as pigs. “Bye, bye, scum, bye!” said someone else – and he was a photographer. The three MPs and their brief somehow struggled into a cab which managed – just – to drive away without crushing a dozen cameramen’s feet.
I pondered what MPs’ children will be taught in the new creche. If they can’t agree on finger painting or stories, a burly policeman will arrive and bellow “Division!” There will be instruction in expenses. “No, Jordan, you can claim for a Wendy house because you can sit in that, but not for a doll’s house. Wayne, you’re very naughty, claiming for a Matchbox lorry! Make that claim for a Tonka truck, but only if it’s carrying Lego bricks deemed essential for your education under terms agreed with the Fees Office …”